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| Kho Phi Phi Don - finding The Beach |
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| Twisted Firestarter |
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| Lots of Rules in the Hotels of Bangkok |
Phlittering into the amusement park of the Land of Thais.
Jump into a pink glittery car, lights flickering and flashing, and tuk tuk ride around bonkers Bangkok town.
With the go go boys and lady boys...Thai girls waiting for chunky rosy sun stained rugby boys and Korean business boys.
Sex and sleaze wafting in the breeze.
Join the the drunken monkeys, wrinkled tattooed hippies, freaky cattle whirring around the electric counterfeit playing ground.
Tailor me a suit, rent me a boy and buy my brother a Siamese bride.
Thrill seeking maniacs join leisure time enthusiasts to explore this South East Asian Pleasure dome.
A great shock of culture smacked into my face with modern convenience, consumption, disgrace.
Same continent, familiar, same, same but different.
No stem of the barrage of basic decisions, no time to compute, and an overwhelming travel breakdown.
And a miniature Thai Tigress can creep on my back, crinkle and crack, swinging my jaded body bang flat.
All aboard the foreigner factory line, juggling flows of whining boys and girls in skimpy stripy vests, straw hats, neon ray bands and flip flops.
Southward bound hordes flying down the helter skelter towards the full lunacy party.
Just another colour coded dopey clown heading to the frying pan, to be processed by maniacal tour reps screeching in the darkness with unbridled hysteria.
The lauded “Land of Smiles” long gone, sub-contracted out to reliably friendly Burmese workers.
Cruise the Andaman Adventure, through crystalline waters, in search of The Hollywood Beach.
Would be paradise but for ten damn thousand folk flocking from Phuket.
Busy, busy, dear and full.
And the House of Horrors down the bulging ugly town in Kho Phi Phi, its pulsating concrete can only be escaped in a long tail boat to our private party.
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| Our Mushroom House |
Released from an earthly surface presence, defying nature's wishes and phlitter down the trapeze rope into the midst of rotating schools of glassy purple fish.
Clouds of plankton billow through the turquoise water, the curtains shaded in blue and green dissolve into an ominous darkness below....showtime.
Slow motion descent into the maelstrom to perform on the pinnacle conducting trigger fish to snarl and gnaw with sharp carnivores on minion fish hiding amongst the ebony spikes of sea urchins and tease the stark white sting rays pulsating dangerously.
Inflating lungs like a hot air balloon, acrobatic trickery, hovering Buddha buoyant with unexpected serenity, flippers whacking coral, enjoying the safety of the blue planet's womb.
An after show party with barbecued barracuda and toxic local punch then a compulsory rave on the big top on the beach.
Certification received then join the 36 hour Northern ascent of the roller coaster train, armed with hot dogs and candyfloss, station master swap at Bangkok Central.
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| Through the Royal Ages |
Every twenty metres a Seven Eleven and every ten metres a royal portrait and loyal homage to KingBhumibol Adulyadej.
Down the hill and land with a bump into Chiang Mai with a bout of Thai tonsilitis.Get well in the hammock and recuperate for next weekend's special circus tour into the jungle.
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| Dragon Show |
Get ready for the elephant show before a float on a raft, tick the box, miss your slot and join the next entourage of merry travellers conducted by bored bored tourist ringmasters.
Into the forest to gape at waxwork tribes and slide down the log flume waterfall wonder.
School trip rigmarole, flame throwing at ten, bed by eleven.
But the ghost train pauses to appease the jungle spirits, offer them their dinner to keep us protected.
The Thai Circus where animistic beliefs mingle with Buddhism, Ipads and Starbucks. Democracy and Demi God monarchy. Package tours and student season tickets, DIY sex tourists, everyone can join the carnival.
The falls is wonderful. Superb.
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